


Party Games

by hentailobster



Category: One Piece
Genre: Drinking, Multi, Never Have I Ever, Party, Party Games, Strip Poker, Truth or Dare, ah also language, hmm also t is for discussions of sex and sex dreams but nothing graphic, hmmm and no sraw hat is straight but that's just canon, that's brief tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-19
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2020-03-08 03:16:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18886069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hentailobster/pseuds/hentailobster
Summary: Basically there's a party and since pirates are the gamers of the sea they play some party games cheers





	Party Games

**** ”Are you having fun you asshole?” Nami put her second, almost empty bottle down ”You _know_ you can’t just target me with your never-s. That’s totally cheating” 

 

” _How_ was I supposed to know you had kissed princess Vivi of Alabasta under the moonlight?” Zoro didn’t even try to look like he wasn’t proud of his highly specific statement, grinning widely at Nami from across the circle of straw hat pirates. They had been sailing away from the Florian Triangle for a few days, spending their time partying as much as they could and their most recent party had looked like it was about to die out for a moment. Then Usopp, ever the genius, had proposed some party games and things were once again back on track (Except for for Brook, who’d fallen asleep on a table), ’on track’ here meaning that Sanji had opened a second bottle of wine, which in turn meant he probably wouldn’t remember anything of the evening the next day. Sanji was not good with alcohol and had already drank quite a lot in Sanji quantities when the idea was brought up, which is why the rest of the crew had immediately proposed ’Never have I ever’ as the first game. 

 

”Whatever” Nami rolled her eyes and turned to her captain ”Your turn Luffy” 

 

”Never have I ever eaten a booger!” 

 

”You _so_ have!” Usopp objected ”I refuse to believe you haven’t even tried” 

 

”Never!” Luffy looked sure of himself, which was confirmation enough for the rest of the crew, since lying had never been their captains strong suite. With a few murmurs and embarrassed looks, all of them except for Nami took a sip of their respective drinks. 

 

”Wait, hold on” Usopp said ”Even you, Robin?” 

 

”I did drink, didn’t I?” 

 

”But _why_?” 

 

”Because I was five” Robin sounded a little defensive ”Weren’t you all?” 

 

”Okay, point” Usopp agreed as the rest of the crew confirmed the truth of Robin’s assumption ”But I thought you were a smart kid” 

 

”Five year old me doesn’t owe you an explanation” 

 

”Fair, my turn. Never have I ever…” Usopp sighed and thought for a moment, before finally coming up with something ”Never have I ever had a sex dream about someone in this room” 

 

”What the _fuck_ Usopp?” Came a chorus of cries from around the room, prompting Usopp to throw up his hands in a defensive stance. 

 

”I’m just trying to play the game, guys!” He said, then added ”Besides it’s not a big deal, right?” 

 

”He has a point” Franky shrugged ”I ain’t here to judge. We all have weird dreams. I once dreamt I got railed by this guy in an elephant costume and he had a _gigantic-_ ” 

 

”Just drink if you have, please!” Nami cut in, saving the evening in the process. For a moment, there was nothing but silence. No one moved, each of them all too focused on wether one of them would drink. 

 

Then, without a word, Zoro raised his bottle and drank.

 

”Wait, really?!” Sanji looked like he’d never been this amused in his entire life ”About _who?_ ” 

 

”Mind your business shithead” Zoro shot Sanji one of the deadliest glares recorded in history ”Besides how come you’re not drinking? I thought you had nothing but wet dreams” 

 

”Yeah I thought that was weird too” Nami nodded ”Never about anyone in the crew? Really?” 

 

”Never in general” Sanji shrugged ”Who knows why?” 

 

”It’s cus you’re horny all day so you have to rest at night, next question” Zoro grinned at his own joke, and had Sanji been a little less drunk he would have probably said something rude in return, but now he just snorted and raised his visible eyebrow in a gesture that had to stand in for saying ”Who knows?” out loud. 

 

”My turn!” Chopper cut in, for the good of the collective ”Never have I ever gotten so drunk I couldn’t remember what happened the next morning” 

 

Sanji, Nami and Zoro all drank, Nami finishing her bottle and throwing it aside. As the turn went to Franky, she opened a new one, just to be prepared. 

 

”Hm, let’s see then” Franky scratched his chin ”How about never have I ever made out with someone I worked with” 

 

”I don’t think any of us have had jobs” Usopp shrugged ”Not complaining though, I don’t think I should drink more if I’m honest” 

 

”Does bounty hunting count as a job?” Zoro thought for a moment ”And does the people you’re hunting count as people you work with?” 

 

”Yes to the first, yes to the second because I’m really curious” Franky raised an eyebrow, probably hoping for a story. He didn’t get one however, as Zoro just took a swig from his bottle, once again without elaborating further. Sanji drank as well, and he was kind enough to add the fascinating detail ”We had waiters for a while”. 

 

After that, he refused to tell them anything more and instead spent some time in silence, trying to come up with his own ’never have I ever’. Finally, he took a long drag of his cigarette and spoke. 

 

”Never have I ever slept with someone on the first date” 

 

”I refuse to believe that” 

 

”Well then maybe you should reexamine your prejudices against bi people, moss ball. Now who’s drinking?” 

 

”It has nothing to do with-” 

 

”I am” Franky took a quick swig ”Though it really depends on how you’d define ’date’ but whatever. Drinking is fun” 

 

”Yeah about that” Nami cut in ”Does committing theft together count as a date?” 

 

”Depends” Sanji shrugged ”Did it feel like a date?” 

 

Nami was silent at that, for a long while, before finally nodding to herself and taking a sip. No one else drank, mainly because none of them had been on that many dates in the first places and Luffy because he was about as interested in sex as he was in geophysics. Nami put her bottle down and almost immediately had something prepared. 

 

”Never have I ever questioned my sexuality” 

 

Before she could even finish the last word, Sanji took a deep swig of his wine, which in retrospect was probably a stupid move, but did make for a much more dramatic effect. Usopp drank as well, and after a moment each of consideration, so did Franky and Robin. 

 

”No one else?” Nami raised an eyebrow and Chopper shook his head in response. 

 

”I’ve never really thought about it, I suppose” He explained with a shrug. 

 

”Same” Luffy agreed ”But you guys do?” 

 

”I mean I always knew” Zoro said ”So I never really thought about it either” 

 

”I did” Sanji shuddered ”You guys should be happy you missed my sexuality crisis” 

 

”Oh we so did not, that shit is going on until this day” Zoro grinned and Sanji shot him an offended look. 

 

”Do you _want_ me to kick you through the floor? Because if that’s what you want all you had to do was ask” 

 

”Never have I ever…” Robin interrupted before the argument escalated further ”Seen a ghost” 

 

That brought on a long discussion on wether ghosts were real, wether Perona’s ghosts counted and most importantly: if they could be fought with fists/swords/feet. They all agreed that ghosts were probably real but that Perona’s did in fact not count in the end, but wether or not brute force was effective against them remained undecided. As the discussion started to wear out, Usopp got up and fetched a deck of cards. 

 

”Alright” He said ”Strip poker. Who’s in?” 

 

Franky and Chopper were the only ones who protested, arguing that they had an unfair disadvantage, wearing only two articles of clothing each in total to begin with, but some light whining managed to convince at least Franky to play. Chopper was put in charge of making sure Robin didn’t cheat, which didn’t go all too well. It was only after she was the only one in the room wearing a shirt and both Sanji and Usopp had lost their pants that suspicions were raised. In a moment that would later be referred to as the crew by a miracle, Nami managed to catch Robin just as Franky was about to remove his speedos, and her heroic act once again saved the evening. 

 

Thus, strip poker was banned for the foreseeable future by decree of pirate king to-be, captain Monkey D. Luffy (an official note was later nailed to the wall), on the mighty vessel the _Thousand Sunny._ That, of course, left them with the question of what to do next, something that was pondered for about five minutes before Nami slammed one of her empty bottles down in the centre of the circle. 

 

”Truth…or…” Everyone held their breaths. It was silent enough that you could hear a needle drop. 

 

” _Dare_ ” Nami finished, sending the room into cheers. After reveling in the fact that she was the smartest of the younger crew members for a moment, Nami cleared her throat to get a hold of the situation. 

 

”Alright dipshits” She opened ”Let’s lay out some rules. You spin the bottle and the one it lands on you get to ask. That person may change their answer from truth to dare and vice versa, however they may not change back once they’ve changed, and if they refuse to do either they get a punishment from the whole crew. Any questions?” 

 

”What are our limitations for dares?” Zoro had a dangerous gleam in his eyes, undoubtedly already planning something. Nami returned the look with a smirk as she replied. 

 

”Moral only” She said, knowing well both her and Zoro lacked such trivialities. Then, before anyone could protest, she spun the bottle. Being quite a violent lady, Nami managed to set it spinning for a pretty long time, before it finally landed on Luffy. 

 

”Okay Luffy” Nami looked like she was already having ideas ”Truth or dare?” 

 

”Dare!” Luffy straightened his back and put on a determined face. He wasn’t going to back down from a challenge. 

 

”I dare you to eat a package of vegan hot dogs” 

 

Luffy was going to back down from this one particular challenge, actually. 

 

”Truth” He cried before Nami could even finish her sentence, which sent the crew snickering amongst themselves. 

 

”Aw, no fun” She pouted ”Mkay, then let’s go with something basic: who’s the hottest in this room” 

 

Luffy furrowed his brows, deep in thought as the crew ’oooh’-ed away. They had to wait for a while, but finally Luffy seemed to have made up his mind. 

 

”Franky” He nodded to himself ”Because of the cool cyborg parts” 

 

”Checks out” Usopp didn’t look like he agreed, exactly, more like he respected Luffy’s reasoning. Others present, whose names are not to be mentioned but do sound like ’Robbing’, seemed to agree wholeheartedly, however, but Franky was too busy posing and celebrating his victory to notice. In the meantime, Luffy span the bottle and it quickly landed on Robin. 

 

”Robin! Truth or dare?”

 

”I’ll do a dare” Robin smiled and lowered her book. 

 

”Alright then I dare you to kiss Franky” 

 

”Who said my name?” Franky stopped posing to pay attention again. It was too late, however, because no one wanted to explain what was going on to him, especially not Robin who just walked over and gave him a quick kiss, before returning to her book as if nothing had happened. Franky, on the other hand, looked like he was trying to solve a particularly complicated equation while blushing furiously. The scene was accompanied by the sound of the crew laughing and the bottle being spun again by one of Robin’s phantom hands. This time, it landed on Sanji, who immediately looked like he was being held at gunpoint. He wasn’t, Robin was just looking at him with a smile that anyone would find threatening. 

 

”…truth?” Sanji finally said, and Robin’s question came immediately. 

 

”How do you think you’ll die?” 

 

Maybe it was the delivery. Maybe it was just the way Robin smiled. Whatever the reason, the room went silent, the question laying over it like a wet, heavy blanket. 

 

”Bro I think she just threatened him” Franky whispered to Nami as Sanji nervously explained that he hadn’t exactly spent much time thinking about that, but he sure was hoping for old age. Robin just nodded at that and the game moved on without anyone daring to comment on the conversation that had just taken place. Except for Zoro who mimed at Sanji that he was most definitely _not_ going to die of old age if Zoro had any say in the matter. Sanji wasn’t looking at Zoro, however, so the comment was lost on him as he followed the movement of the bottle, which ended up pointing at Usopp. 

 

”You know what?” Usopp nodded to himself ”I’m feeling brave. Dare” 

 

”Okay…” Sanji narrowed his eyes, trying to come up with something. Being dumb, however, the only thing he could think of was: 

 

”I’ll go basic. I dare you to kiss…” Still not entirely decided, his eyes trailed over the faces in the room ”Uhh, let’s go with Luffy” 

 

”Sure” Usopp shrugged and leaned in for the least dramatic dare of the evening, ending the kiss (which to the crew’s surprise made it seem like Usopp had at least some experience) with a fist bump and a shared laugh. Then he went on to spin the bottle, which landed on the still sleeping Brook. After a moment of murmured debate and a quick vote it was decided that sleeping did not exclude you from truth or dare rules and that Brook was to be woken up promptly. That he was, with a bucket of ice cold water. 

 

”Ah! That was cold as death” Brook shuddered ”Though of course, I’m dead already so it’s-”

 

”Just pick truth or dare” Usopp interrupted. Brook had only been part of the crew for a few days, but his ’skull jokes’ were starting to get on everyone’s nerves. It should here be noted that when this had been pointed out to him he had responded that that obviously wasn’t happening to him since he didn’t have nerves, which had gotten him a swift and well placed kick to the face from Sanji. Everyone present had agreed that it was justified, except for Zoro who just didn’t agree with Sanji on pure principle. 

 

”Truth or- Oh, yes! I’ve played this game before” Brook still wasn’t entirely awake ”I’ll pick truth” 

 

Usopp’s question came immediately, as if he’d spent a long, _long_ time thinking about it. 

 

”Can you play your ribcage like a xylophone?” 

 

The crew voiced their appreciation of the question, all of them happy that at least one of them had something to constructive to ask. Brook, after a moment’s consideration, replied that the thought had never struck him before, but that he was willing to try. Which he then did, to the glee of the crew. It didn’t sound good, in any way whatsoever, but it was _really_ fun to watch, especially if one was drunk. Thus, the ’music’ went on for quite a while, before Brook finally spun the bottle. It ended up pointing at Zoro who took a quick swig of his bottle before deciding.

 

”Dare” 

 

”Ah, then I dare you to kiss Sanji-san” 

 

For precisely one second, the room was silent. Then, a cacophony of different noises erupted, ranging from both Zoro and Sanji protesting as loud as they could, whilst simultaneously insulting each other, to the rest of the crew alternating between laughing at Zoro and Sanji and singing Brook’s praise. Brook himself, looked as pleased as a skeleton could with himself, in spite of the sword pointed at his face. 

 

Once things started to calm down, Zoro put his foot down and announced that he would rather kiss Gecko Moriah himself than breathe in Sanji’s general direction, and that he’d happily take whatever truth Brook could come up with. Brook was a little puzzled at this and struggled for some time, before Nami headed over to where he was seated and whispered something. 

 

”Are you sure?” 

 

”Absolutely” Nami gave him a reassuring nod and smile. 

 

”If you say so then…” Brook still didn’t sound entirely convinced, but he was new enough to the crew to think that trusting Nami was a good idea ”Who was your dream about?” 

 

”Nami I am going to _murder_ you!” 

 

”Hey, Brook’s the one who asked” Nami fluttered her eyelashes, feigning innocence for no other reason than it being really fun to do. It riled Zoro up further. 

 

”Wait, hold on, what dream are you talking about?” Brook, having been asleep for that part of the game may I remind you, seemed to realize at least the gravity of the situation, though what he’d actually asked about took some time for him to process since Zoro and Sanji said ”It’s nothing” and ”Zoro had a sex dream”, respectively, at the same time. 

 

”I refuse to tell” Zoro managed to say over the chorus of laughing that was still going on ”I’ll take whatever punishment the lot of you can throw at me, I don’t care” 

 

”Fine. Assembly, everyone!” Nami snapped her fingers and motioned for the rest of the crew to join her in one of the room’s corners. They all huddled together to whisper and plan evil deeds, while now and then shooting Zoro looks that made him a little worried, though of course he would never admit that. Instead he just grumbled something about how it hadn’t been serious anyway and that sometimes people’s brains just came up with weird shit, to which Sanji replied that they all knew Zoro couldn’t be bothered with such pesky things as feelings and the two descended into a heated argument, the seriousness of which was only somewhat undercut by the fact that Sanji had- at some point- decided it would be fun to use his tie as a headband. 

 

As the argument continued, so did the less heated discussion of what Zoro’s punishment for being ”a weak bitch, a pussy and a coward” (Nami’s words) should be. Physical violence was brought up, but deemed a tad excessive and not bound to leave long-lasting enough mental scars. The thought of throwing Zoro overboard for a swim was also on the table for a while, but it did involve the great risk of Zoro getting lost and never being seen again, which would really just be unnecessary (It should here be noted that Sanji was too busy arguing with Zoro to express his thoughts on the matter). 

 

Finally, the huddle was dissolved into singular crew members again, all of them with a dangerous gleam in their eyes (or eye sockets, in certain cases). Nami cleared her throat. 

 

”The Council has come to a conclusion, and as representative I am tasked with presenting its judgement” She said with a grave tone, only somewhat contradicted by the obvious glee on her face ”Roronoa ”Pirate Hunter” Zoro. You have been charged with cowardice, on grounds of refusing one truth and one dare. Thus, you shall be punished accordingly” 

 

”Do your worst” 

 

”Very well. By decree of The Council, I Nami the Cat Burglar, hereby sentence you to having to do whatever the rest of us want-besides the things you already refused and what is deemed too morally reprehensible- for exactly two hours starting at…” Nami checked the time ”…midnight. You have two minutes of freedom to enjoy” 

 

Never had two minutes passed so quickly for Zoro, and oh so slowly for the rest of the crew. The last thirty seconds, they spent amusing themselves by counting down and watching Zoro’s expression go from mild fear to deep, primal dread. 

 

”…zero!” 

 

Of the events that followed there is much that can be said. It could be recorded the exact amount of clothes pegs Zoro had stuck to his face by the end of the two hours, the escalating strangeness of the things he bumped into as he wandered around deck in a blindfold or which of Robin, Franky and Brook’s clothes he was forced to wear. Each member of the crew had an array of splendid ideas, but- being morons- thinking did not come naturally to them. In fact, the amount of planning they had to do ended up being rather tiring and before the two hours were up the ship had fallen into a peaceful silence, only occasionally broken by snores. 

**Author's Note:**

> comment for gay rights


End file.
